In the Forums...
Posted: April 1, 2001
Written by: Dan "Tweak Monkey" Kennedy
Stage III - Stickers (cont.)
Make sure that when you install stickers, you do it carefully. We used high performance rubbing alcohol (the same stuff racecars run on - "alcohol") to remove crap from the car before applying stickers. This ensures that when the car reaches its blistering 86 MPH top speed, they stay fully attached.
Trust me. It doesn't taste like booze.
Other stickers were later added - AutoMeter, Carter, NOS, Holly, KYB, Flowmaster... you name it! Any stickers we had left-over from our past racecars were slapped into the big bad Taurus.
Stage IV - The Future?
Just a couple suggestions for you die-hard racers that want even more performance from your Taurus:
-Mount a NOS bottle (or a fire extinguisher, preferably painted blue w/ NOS stickers) in the window, or clear sight.
(BTW, don't use NOS. It makes cars explode! I read this on an AOL car chatroom.)
-Wear a helmet and/or racing gloves whenever you drive. This makes you look faster.
-Construct a rollcage out of PVC. It makes the car look racey, costs under $20, and is very light.
-Find the biggest wing you can and slap it out back. If you can't find one, make one from sheetmetal or wood (or maybe some of that PVC?).
-Paint your headlights black. Not being able to see at night is cool.
-Paint racing stripes on your car. Stripes cut through the wind like a bullet.
-Paint Japanese characters on the car -- even if it's American.
-Paint your interior red or yellow, whichever color contrasts your exterior paint best.
-Paint your front wheels black so they look like slicks (extra points if your car is rear-wheel drive, meaning the car only drives in reverse). Try to find hubcaps with fake brake rotors, too.
-Break one of your windshield wipers off. A single wiper serves rally racers, so it's best for your car.
-Put a chain link fence in the grille of your car, below the headlights. This stops bugs from flying into your engines (yes, most cars have 4 or 6 engines). Bugs slow down cars because they aren't as explosive as gasoline and water (the primary ingredients to combustion engines, other than washer fluid).
I think that's about all for now.
We couldn't afford to fill our bottle. It was $40! :(
Oh well, we decided to mount it in the window anyway.
Helmet? Check. Gloves? Check. Stickers? Check.
Well, that's about it. Stay safe, wear your seatbelt (especially if you get those nifty seatbelt pads that almost look like racing harnesses), and keep on tweaking your cars!
You want a piece of this!?
Thanks for reading.
Oh, and happy April Fool's Day. :)