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Introduction

So, you've finally tweaked your PC to what appears to be its limits. Games, applications, and the Internet seem smoother and faster than ever. Quake 3 runs at over 100 FPS, and your MP3s even sound noticeably clearer. Not only that, but your case is cooler inside than you ever thought was possible. Now, if only you could get to sleep!

Just about every PC is noisy enough to get on someone's nerves over time. If not during the day, it definitely gets annoying when everything is shut off for a good night's sleep, and the PC really seems to get noisy. But it's okay... we'll shut that PC up yet!

The Formula

It doesn't help to remove all those expensive fans you've installed, does it? Of course not... because for one, you'd need to reconnect them all in the morning, and two, they wouldn't be cooling your precious system anymore. You could just shut the PC off for the night... but those midnight e-mail checks would be a real pain... and you'd have to wait for that *painful* 30 second boot-up. So, what alternatives do you have? Quite a few, actually. This guide will supply you with many tips and tricks to finally shut that PC up. In fact, you can probably even use some of these tips for another application. But first, let's get into the basics of PC noise...

What's Making All That Racket!?

A few items in your PC will definitely be louder than the rest. CPUs, video cards, and peripherals (hopefully) won't let out a single peep in their whole "life". However, not all PC items can operate correctly without making some sound. These items are mechanical as well as electrical. The first item is usually the most obvious, especially during prolonged PC use. Yes, it's the hard drive. It grinds away for long periods of time (especially if you're low on RAM), and never seems to cease. That patented coffee grinder meets motorcycle sound is almost soothing at first, but it eats away at you in no time. Oh, and don't forget its high-RPM evil cousin, the CD-ROM. The other really obvious items are the cooling fans. Other than those, your PC is silent. With that said, let's get on with the guide...

  Stage 1: Shut The FANS Up!

Inside your case there are most likely at least three fans. I'm willing to bet your video card has one, your CPU definitely has one, and your power supply has one. Many CPU heatsink/fans come with multiple fans, and even many power supplies have two fans. This doesn't even account for any extra fans you have inside your case to circulate air or to cool hard drives.

There are a lot of them, but the fans are among the easiest beasts to tame, because they're the least technical. Some fans use sleeve bearings and most others use ball bearings, but since both involve blades spinning at several thousand RPMs, they are noisy.

The Secret: Lube!

Whether it's motor oil, silicone lubricant, or petroleum jelly (if you didn't eat it all, again), a little lube goes a long way in mechanics. The steps to lubricate a fan are very easy. It will almost definitely shut up an older fan, and could even quiet down a new fan. So, how's it done?

1) Shut Down the PC

Since you'll be working inside the case, you might as well shut down the PC first.

2) Locate the Fans

Find the fan you want to lube up first...

3) Remove the Sticker

Most fans have a sticker covering the area you'll need to lube up. The other side is often a solid plastic piece.

The sticker should easily come off. If not, pull it from an edge.

 4) Lube Away

If you have a lubricant made for this purpose it would probably work best. Otherwise, a drop of clean motor oil or a smudge of chassis grease will work perfect. Don't put too much in there... a single drop should do the trick.

5) Turn it By Hand

Before you turn on your PC and the fan blasts around at high RPMs, you'll want to rotate the fan a few times to make sure it works into the mechanism. Wipe up any excess oil. If the sticker can be replaced, go for it. If you got oil on the surface where it was sticking, it probably will not re-stick. It's not a problem, though. Either throw it away or cover it up with a piece of tape to keep the grease in and the dust out.

Now... move onto the next fan until you've finished. But hey, let's not stop there... we've got quite a few more tips.