[Pope John]

I just got pulled over for swerving.

The cop asks me if I've had anything to drink today.

I kinda mumble out a no.

He has me step out of the car.

He finds a firecracker on my seat, which he informs me is a felony.

I was given several field sobriety tests followed by a breathalyzer.

... which I failed.

Then I go on to admitting to drinking earlier in the evening (no matter how litte) and also admitting to smoking marijuana last week.

Truth be told: I had smoked quite recently.

...but I wasn't drunk just so all of you know. I'm not like that, I was completely sober. And I think the cop knew that, too.

So the one cop lectures me and tells me to drive safe blah blah blah

...when the other cop chimes in, "I want to check his pupils."

So he has me stand, and just by the way he's looking at me I can tell he wants me to go to jail.

I can literally feel the disgust coming out of this man's eyes and staining my face so that other's may see how horrible I am.

I begin by standing the way the first cop told me and looking him in the eyes.

Then I notice his flashlight so I begin looking at that thinking that I'll have to follow the light or something.

Which was incorrect.

So he tells me sternly to, "Stare straight at me."

I do and he waves the light over my eyes.

It flickers.

He stops and tells me to go sit down.

So I go to when the other cop says, "Just let him go."

I'm over-joyed that I am being let go, but fucking disgusted that the other cop would force me to fail (flickering his flashlight) his sobriety test so he could arrest me.

I love and hate cops at the same time.

My AIM conversation with a friend with more details::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[12:22] tylerXmassacre: guess who just failed a breathalyzer test and then the cops let them go?
[12:23] XXXXXXXXXXX: Hahaha what the fuck happened, dude?
[12:23] tylerXmassacre: umm me and some pals were just leaving a crazy adventure from the super walmart
[12:24] tylerXmassacre: when I decide i need to change the CD and kinda start swerving. so the cop started flashing his rollers.
[12:24] tylerXmassacre: so he asks if i've had anything to drink and i couldn't give him a straight answer because I'm so nervous
[12:25] tylerXmassacre: so he tells me to get out of the car until i can start giving him more confident answers
[12:25] tylerXmassacre: I go where he tells me to go by shining his flashlight on the ground
[12:25] tylerXmassacre: and I go over there where he tells me how to stand and starts giving me sobriety tests
[12:26] tylerXmassacre: hewell first he asked me questions over and over
[12:26] tylerXmassacre: where i live where i just was, where i am now, how old i am, how old i am (again)
[12:26] tylerXmassacre: et cetera
[12:27] tylerXmassacre: then gives me a few tests. first one was tilting my head back and then closing my eyes when he told me. once i closed my eyes i was supposed to count to thirty in my head and then lower my head and open my eyes
[12:27] tylerXmassacre: thus completing the test
[12:27] XXXXXXXXXXX: Haha wtf
[12:28] tylerXmassacre: next was holding my left hand palm up in front of me
[12:29] tylerXmassacre: with my right han closed palm down over it. With my right hand I had to clap palm to palm and say 1 out loud, then flip over my right hand and slap hands back to palm; while saying two out loud. I had to do that while increasing speed for ten seconds
[12:30] XXXXXXXXXXX: Damn. I've never heard of these sobriety tests.
[12:30] XXXXXXXXXXX: Crafty police.
[12:30] tylerXmassacre: then i think was the test where he had me stand with my right foot raised off the ground 6 inches and count 1,000-1...1,000-2 et cetera
[12:30] tylerXmassacre: i was allowed to stop which i did after two seconds and begin from the last number I said
[12:30] tylerXmassacre: that's a bad sentence but whatever, i think you get the idea
[12:30] tylerXmassacre: fuck i forget if he gave me another test
[12:31] tylerXmassacre: anwyays the tests aren't the focal point of the story
[12:31] tylerXmassacre: I had just left walmart where me and some friends stole the electric scooters and were racing them and crashing them in the parking lot
[12:31] tylerXmassacre: then some workers told us to stop so we ran and they started shouting security
[12:32] tylerXmassacre: so we run through the parking lot, all of a sudden some fcar tells us to get in, so we get in this car (we don't know who the fuck these guys are). Me and my two friends crammed behind two native residents of a two seater Mustang
[12:33] tylerXmassacre: they roll through the parking lot asking us where we're parked, what we did, and looking out for security
[12:33] XXXXXXXXXXX: Hahah damn
[12:33] tylerXmassacre: we finally decide that securityisn't even looking for us, so we get out and realize that Black Mike (i was with) knew them
[12:34] tylerXmassacre: yeah, so we get in my car and then leave heading North on Tenth street from the super walmart
[12:34] tylerXmassacre: oh yeah, and when the cop pulled me over he found a firecracker on my seat and informed me that it was a felony
[12:35] XXXXXXXXXXX: Hahaha
[12:35] tylerXmassacre: so yeah, I forgot to mention the breathalyzer
[12:35] XXXXXXXXXXX: So how/why did he let you go?
[12:36] tylerXmassacre: so after getting all the F.S.T.s he tells me that the next step is some sort of special test and informs me that being under 21 I can not refuse it and that failing this test meant blood tests...
[12:36] tylerXmassacre: I didn't know he meant breathalyzer until I saw it and my heart fell out of my asshole
[12:37] XXXXXXXXXXX: Hahaha
[12:37] tylerXmassacre: so i try faking it out, because i knew I had had a few drinks of Jack Daniels jsut a few hours ago
[12:37] tylerXmassacre: and nothing could show up or else i could lose my licensen
[12:38] tylerXmassacre: so I'm exhaling all the way and trying to take dee breaths and exhale as much as I can to try and get any alcohol settling in my stomach out
[12:38] tylerXmassacre: (I don't know how breathalyzers work I was just trying anytyhing to not fail the test)
[12:38] tylerXmassacre: ...I fail
[12:38] tylerXmassacre: he said it wasn't a lot but it was way over what was legal for me
[12:39] tylerXmassacre: then lectured me about drunk driving and asked if I knew anyone who has been hurt bnyu a drunk driver (that was close to me)
[12:40] tylerXmassacre: I think he let me go because honestly I was completely sober and the only reason for my nervousness was my zany adventure at walmart
[12:40] tylerXmassacre: he didn't knwo that though
[12:40] XXXXXXXXXXX: Haha
[12:40] XXXXXXXXXXX: Lucky fucker.
[12:40] tylerXmassacre: I just think he knewI was sober and also that Iw as really polite and kept saying Sir and shit
[12:40] tylerXmassacre: yeah
[12:40] tylerXmassacre: crazy ass fucking night for sure

[rx]

i bet the one that wanted you to go to jail was a bully in high school and the only reason he became a cop was to annoy and bully people around because he has the powers, rather than to serve the community

[Scooby]

Yeah, harold and kumar is a good movie. ^


Glad, he let you off mang.

[ivwshane]

Originally Posted by rx

i bet the one that wanted you to go to jail was a bully in high school and the only reason he became a cop was to annoy and bully people around because he has the powers, rather than to serve the community

I would think it would be the opposite. It would be the kid that got bullied that wants to do the bulling now.

[Lazaredz]

Wow. Good to know that even when they do catch people DUI, they cut them free.

Greeeeeeaaaaaaat!

[Miller]

my roommate got pulled over for doing 70 in a 35, swerving, going through a stop sign, all while complely drunk ass, cop let him walk back to our house

[Pope John]

Oh lord. I have a feeling a bunch of people are gonna treat this situation like I'm a fuck-wad who gets fucked up and drives around.

I had a couple drinks and at no point felt the slightest inebriation. Well, not from the alcohol to say the least.

I passed every sobriety test sans the breathalyzer which I would have failed even if I had only just rinsed my mouth with listerine.

Swapping CDs will be the death of me.

[MSP]

Were you at least wearing clothes?

[Dustin]

You failed the breathalyzer because you were drunk. Rincing your mouth with listerine doesn't set it off, being fucking wasted sets it off.

[tex]

mmmm no dustin, listerine sets it off. we used to fuck with them at the high school dances all the time. you can blow a .01 w/ listerine, .02 if you rinse a shitload right before you go in there. (but being wasted does set if off too )

we got pulled over doing 90 in a 65 this weekend. state trooper is deperately trying to bust us for everything. "mind if i look around your car" "yes i do." (there was $200 in liquor in the trunk and we had a few ounces of random drugs). He kept flickering his flash light in the windows and shit and quizzing the hell out of us. finally, he goes in for a kill on me. Im in the passenger seat, smoking a cigarette. "how old are you son?" it takes me a second, im used to answering 23 like it says on my fake "umn...19 sir". "step out of the car please, and show me your id" i do it. "you haven't been flicking your butts on the ground have you?" (its my 2nd cig since he pulled us over) "no sir" "you aren't lying to me are you?" "no sir" (id thrown my last butt in my friend's spit bottle for exactly this reason). he looks at my id for a minute, than kicks around the grass looking for a butt, and finally, after almost a half hour, we get to leave...

[Dustin]

I dunno, I've seen it tried before and it never worked. Plus I think they tested it on Mythbusters too and found that it didn't work

Not 100% sure on the Mythbusters one though

[Chair]

last time I got pulled over was on my bike... just after smoking a joint and having a few beers and admitted to both, though they didn't care about it... just the fact that I didn't have a bell on my bike, aparently it's against the law and gave me a $110 ticket for it


which I promptly threw out.

[GirlsRidePonies]

Originally Posted by Dustin

You failed the breathalyzer because you were drunk. Rincing your mouth with listerine doesn't set it off, being fucking wasted sets it off.

You sir, are asshole of the year.

I don't think I've seen you contribute to any of the threads I've looked at recently.

Why are you still here?

[Dustin]

Aww cute penguins

[Chair]

Originally Posted by GirlsRidePonies

You sir, are asshole of the year.

I don't think I've seen you contribute to any of the threads I've looked at recently.

Why are you still here?

I'd rather have dustin here than you.

[GirlsRidePonies]

Originally Posted by Chair

I'd rather have dustin here than you.

Fair enough. But generally, I don't belligerently troll every thread I stumble upon.

[MSP]

No offense Chair, but I think you're in the minority on this one. Dustin has been nothing but a thread shitter as far back as I can remember.

[Chair]

well back when this was an actual tech forum dustin was an integral part of it.

shit threads = shit replies


there seems to be a lot of it going around

[MSP]

Back when? Dustin is what, 12 years old?

And the last time I checked neither of you were put in charge of judging which threads were worthy and which weren't. If you don't like the topic just do what the big boys do and don't post in it.

[Hubcap]

jesus, where are those cops in my area. I think every cop in the state of pennsylvania is a major dick. You blow a .09 you are fucked.