[Coleman]

I hate making emo/angry thread especially about women but...

So i dated my roommate. She's the mixed girl i've shown in a picture or two in the past couple months and well... we're on "break". Being on break sucks my ass because of two things 1) It was her idea so I'm still stuck in love with the girl and shes trying to figure things out for herself 2) She's younger and a bit scared of committment. I'm not asking her to marry me but she seems to think that I think we should be tied at the hip.

While i'm a jealous person to start with, I can work through things. However, we got together when she cheated on her ex boyfriend (who lives down the street) and i cheated on the girl i was dating (who was crazy hot). When she told me that we should go on break she also told me that she still has feelings for her ex. I can understand that because it was pretty sudden that she dumped him and got with me so I wasn't totally upset with her. It's the fact that a week after we went on break she went to his apartment for a sleepover. Tonight she is doing the same thing. I'm supposed to trust her when she goes out and sleeps in the same bed as her ex that she still likes and he still likes her. He's an older guy who is much smarter and more cunning with words than I am and he's totally playing her and trying to manipulate her back into his arms i just know it.

She needs her space and I'm doing my best to give it to her... but she lives across the hallway from me and every day I have to see her and watch her slowly slip through my fingers. I can't help but feel terrified that she's going to be too afraid to tell me that she wants to be with him again and doesn't tell me until later on down the road. I'm supposed to sit back and wait until she's ready to date me again while she goes and sleeps over at her ex's who lives 1 block away. Why can't she just stay over late and come back to sleep in her own bed. She told me that she used to sleep over at her ex's all the time and they were just really good friends. She's cheated on nearly every boyfriend she's had and I'm supposed to be different....

I just have the worst feeling that i'm being played and making this thread will only make me feel worse because it just all sounds so terrible. Can someone atleast try and make things sound better for me? Anyone...

[Nothing.]

Well, if she decides to change and start sleeping alone and ignoring him, that would show her how much you mean to her. She has to go futher to notice that, than thats what it takes. Thats what it was like for me. And, she kept it going, I found out, dumbed her, and forgetting her. She's sad about it and regrets it, but oh well. Too late.

I'm not sure how this will work out Coleman, sorry.
I tried. :-\

[Bear]

Before I wrote this, I had about a paragraph of how you could possibly make this work out. After re-reading your original post, I know what I need to write.

Harsh truth may follow.

This girl obviously doesn't share the same feelings. She wants that space just to be with her ex, and if you're going to be chasing a girl that already has someone else she cares about, you're wasting your time. It's cruel I know. But I figured I'd tell you this now before you do something drastic, like get back with her. If the relationship she had with her ex ended abruptly and she got right with you, it was a rebound. Let her be with her ex, do what she has to do. But don't consider it "being played". This girl is not detached from the ex. Don't overwhelm yourself with a situation like this. TRUST ME / T3D!

[MSP]

Spending the night at her ex boyfriend's place = you need to put her out of your mind. Hands up for anyone who has spent the night alone in a woman's apartment and not had sex? If she's saying otherwise she is lying, but either way her lingering feelings and contact with him should be enough of a warning siren for you to back the fuck off. Sorry dude, it happens to everybody sooner or later.

[Cr@cKpiPe tE@sEr noOb!]

Get a good hate-fuck out of her, post the nudes on here, then move on with your life.

Jk. Dude, it's over. You have to see that. And i can see why they say it's good to write down your problems because it does make it clearer. Read what you wrote, it's obvious you're getting dooped for a fool. What do you think they do over there? Play board games? If she's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had, i'm sorry to tell you that you are no different. In situations like your own, I ask how you can expect a different outcome then what her ex-bf got, which is being cheated on. If she did it to him, what stops her from doing it to you? Run, dude. Run. My 1st gf cheated on me and i got back with her and i regret it. Turns out she made out with some other guy while going out with her next boyfriend AND she kinda cheated on the bf before me. It's in these sluts' blood. Like instinct. Not all girls are like that, but the ones that are just....are. But, i'm smart enough to know that ur gonna ignore whatever advice you get or ask for and go running right back to her at whatever chance you get. I'm witnessing this in the present time, and i've noticed it in the past. Guess you'll have to find out the hard way.

[Coleman]

This is how i'm feeling and i totally agree with all of you.... but

She and I have been best friends hanging out nearly every day for almost 2 years. She left her boyfriend to get with me because she was madly in love with me. The girl I was dating made her so jealous that she would have panic attacks and have to sleep downstairs instead of across the hall. So yeah.. I live with her and this is what i'm going through. I'm going to back off a whole lot and just act like it doesn't bother me. I'll try to move on but if she decides to come back from "our relationship being on the backburner while i get my life in order" then I will definately get back with her. She does have some serious problems she needs to worth through and I just wish that instead of me being just her best friend I could also be with her again.

This, that, and the other.


Oh and I've been cheated on by 3 girlfriends in the past. One of them was cheating on me for months and we had been together for 2 years. So.. I can't just not trust her because of my past or her past. I don't like to dwell on what she used to do because she has changed so much since I met her.

[Lord Kain]

well.. the previous posters inputs are of very good quality IMHO.

But well, another dose of harsh reality

Dude, you cheated to get with a women that was cheating too

Don't you think you've asked for it?

Yes, it doesn't help to relieve the hurting feelings, but as other said, maybe you should run from this fucked up relationship and try to be more selective in the future?

[Coleman]

I can't run guys.. I am on the lease and I can't abandone her and my other roommate and make them pay my half of the rent. However, I am moving out at the end of the summer most likely.

[ivwshane]

I would stay friends but you need to get the idea of you two being together out of your head. Theres no point, it's not going to happen and if it does it will be a one time deal.

All you are doing is tormenting yourself.


Just keep being friends otherwise in the end you wont have anything, including her friendship.

[superman]

she's definitely not worth your time and emotion.

[MSP]

Originally Posted by Coleman

Oh and I've been cheated on by 3 girlfriends in the past. One of them was cheating on me for months and we had been together for 2 years. So.. I can't just not trust her because of my past or her past. I don't like to dwell on what she used to do because she has changed so much since I met her.

Wow dude, you should pause and contemplate this for a long while. Sounds like you are a flight of stairs...

[integra00]

Your getting played... protect urself

[Karrionhardt]

Hands up for anyone who has spent the night alone in a woman's apartment and not had sex?

Right here. Even though it ended up being an amusing testimate to the truism that good deeds will only fuck you over in the end.

[Coleman]

I totally agree with all of you and the sirens in my head are going crazy telling me to abort.... but she stayed in Virginia for me instead of going back home in NY for school. She sleeps over at her ex boyfriend in NY's house and has for years... she says its innocent. She's never lied to me and I have to give her the benefit of the doubt just for a little bit longer. Call me pathetic but i can't give up yet.

If she cheats on me i will show nude pictures.(immature? eat poop)

[GirlsRidePonies]

Screw her. What a bitch.

Sleepover my balls.

At least she tells you she's with him... I guess.

[mistawiskas]

WTF is 'break'? That is a friggin excuse for shitting on someone's feelings if I ever heard one. Dude, you're better than that and deserve better. It sux to be in a relationship and be the only one in it that's 'in love'. She doesn't love you....love doesn't take 'breaks'.

[MovingTarget]

I'd put my two cents in....but I am probably the last person to give advice on relationships....all I can say is I hope you pull through okay..... good luck....

[Pope John]

dude. she's cheating on you. no doubt about it. sorry.

[mistawiskas]

Originally Posted by Pope John

dude. she's cheating on you. no doubt about it. sorry.

Unfortunately, this may be the case. Experience = whenever you hear the
phrase ' we need some space" or "we need a break" or "I'm feeling smothered".....the begining of the end is at hand. Being broken hearted means you're going to want to take any words as trueth or a reason to hope when, reasoned with logic, the trueth will set you free to find what you deserve and find what it is you're really looking for. Good luck and
expect the worst, but try to hope for the best. Whatever the outcome, you'll be OK and better in the end.

[Pope John]

well if a girl has a track record of "cheating on every boyfriend she's had" then it's not like they're gonna change. They're sluts, bottom line. She probably cheated on you before this break... Probably with someone who wasn't her ex-boyfriend even.


can't make a hoe a housewife. it just don't happen.