[MSP]

My 14 year old daughter is dumber than a box of hammers. She's been letting her grades slip, to the point she now has two Cs and an F. Then my ex-wife tells me that she's been using her cell phone during school and late at night. She's had that fucking phone for only two weeks and has racked up (ready for this?) over 4600 text messages, ranging from the time she wakes up until the middle of the night. I even warned her that I could and WOULD be checking the call logs. Jesus christ! I got in my fair share of trouble as a kid, but I was just a lot smarter about it.

[Bear]

Boys...

[ninefivezero]

Damn that's a lot of texts. Carpel tunnel is just days away!

I don't think there are many excuses for poor grades, especially not that bad.... Lets be honest, schools not that hard most of the time.

[MSP]

The killer is that she's been identified as "gifted" in three subjects, two of which she currently has low grades in. It's pure laziness. I literally have worked myself into a headache over this. She's grounded, loses the phone, going to miss the big dance on Friday, etc. And she's going to be a royal bitch about it too, which just makes things worse on her ultimately.

[Goofus Maximus]

It (the subject) was too easy to keep her interest, or else the teacher is a bad match for this student (never underestimate the power of personality conflict!), and she's lost in the fascinating (to girls) world of text messaging during class, instead. One solution for the long term: just make her pay for her phone bill herself. Do they make "pay as you go" plans that just turn their service off when the maximum minutes are reached?

You could always tie the phone service to her grades. F for no phone, D-C for basic phone with no text, B for phone with text, and full-on 3G phone for all A's... Also, being paranoid as I am, is there any way of finding out to whom the majority of the texting is going? I think of Dateline, and I get the shudders on this point.

Probably, she needs to go to a school that doesn't allow cell phones in class, though as the disaster in China showed, text messaging could get through in disasters where regular phone calls could not. Also, she probably needs to take classes that are challenging enough to keep her interest, with a teacher that can keep her interested rather than drive her off. Time to go to the school and talk with her teachers, to plan out Operation "Keep my little girl's grades up!"

Ain't it nice to get advice from someone with no clue about parenting? LOL!!!! This is a job not for me, but for SUPER NANNY! As for the messaging minutes she's racked up, I remember fondly how quick I went over meter back in the old AOL days. It's easy to lose track, especially if you don't feel the pain in your own wallet, come bill-time...

[MSP]

That's just it, she's paying for the phone AND her school doesn't allow them in class. And it's tied to grades; anything less than a B and she loses it. And that's the part I don't understand, she knows all this. The consequences were looming right in her face and she just couldn't control herself.

[Goofus Maximus]

Geh. This sounds like the symptoms of a deeper problem then. A possible obsessive/compulsive problem, where she knows the consequences, but she. just. can't. stop.

[ninefivezero]

It could literally be an addiction to texting.

BBC NEWS | UK | Scotland | Treatment for text message addict

Or maybe she just doesn't care about school right now, I know I didn't like high school (I still got good grades) when I was there.

[sanitarium16]

My fiance is a teacher and the 7th graders are dumb as bricks. They cant spell for shit and the stories she tells me are crazy. I graduated from High school in 2002 and it was crazy but nothing like kids are now. You should see the way some 14 year olds dress and what they put on youtube. ShowS like tila tequila and real world dont help kids. Keep an eye on your daughter who she is texting to and whats being said. Its a sick world out there

[ivwshane]

Sounds like you should take away the phone.
Who cares if she pays for it herself? It's your house, your rules.

[smirnoff]

I'm surprised nobody has pointed out the obvious. It's clearly genetic.

[Mince]

Originally Posted by ivwshane

Sounds like you should take away the phone.
Who cares if she pays for it herself? It's your house, your rules.

Agreed.

Not saying that you're like this MSP, but a lot of parents try to be their kids "friends" and let them get away with a lot. What kids need nowadays is discipline and good role models...

My parents were tough on me (for the most part) and I thank them for that to this day...

[MSP]

Oh yeah, I'm taking the damn phone. It's a privilege, and she has lost it.

Originally Posted by smirnoff

I'm surprised nobody has pointed out the obvious. It's clearly genetic.

God damn that's pretty funny. Damn you!!!!

[smirnoff]

Assuming a text takes about 30 seconds on avg to read/write, and assuming she reads as many as she sends than she's spending somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of her waking hours texting! (if my calculations are right). That's crazy. Imagine if she started playing WoW to boot.

[ivwshane]

Originally Posted by smirnoff

I'm surprised nobody has pointed out the obvious. It's clearly genetic.

Damn that hilarious!

[Lord Kain]

I lol'd

Must be genetic

But MSP, what kinds of texts is she sending? All casual crap, or you intercepted some shady stuff?

[MSP]

Originally Posted by Lord Kain

I lol'd

Must be genetic

But MSP, what kinds of texts is she sending? All casual crap, or you intercepted some shady stuff?

It's harmless shit, nothing nefarious that I've seen.

[gB dAvId x]

Shit I didn't have a cell phone until I turned 18 and i bought it with my own money!

I pray to god you have unlimited text on that phone, it sounds like you do since you don't really care about that many text, just that she's on it the whole time?

[MSP]

Yeah, it's unlimited. She pays 15 buck a month for that feature. My main concern is that she was texting during school when I was very clear that she was not to be doing that. And of course that her grades are suffering. When I confronted her about it I didn't let her know that I had the call logs, and just asked he if she had been using it during school. She told me the truth anyway.

[integra00]

Try and remember what it was like to be that age... what she's doing isn't that crazy

[kip59]

are all the texts hers?

I can imagine that any b4 9am and after she gets home will be hers but what about at school?

How many are because of people asking "can I use ur phone, uve got all those free texts. I'm only gonna send a text!". kids are not stupid when it comes to manipulating people!

I sympathise with you MSP; you want her to be able to keep in contact but not abuse the priveledge!

My ex was talking to 'mini-me' b4 christmas about mobile phones; he's 7 years old for fucks sake! We had a few words and he did not get a mobile for christmas

I shouldn't say this but her grades dripping so rapidly might be a warning signal of something else, a situation she can't handle or maybe (hopefully not) bullying.

I hope you can sit down and talk it through with her and not get the 'hormonal' teenage girl anger and tantrums

good luck