[Bear]

cliffs below

For a while now, friends and family have been telling me that I need to get out of the house and start taking on more responsibilities. I've been slacking around and soaking up the comfort for too long. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now and aside from our work hours, we're usually together all the time. I was told that my uncle actually received an apartment from an old family friend who passed away some time ago. I knew him personally and he was a great guy. Some calls were made and we got a chance to view the apartment. We're working with a 2/1 with a den, kitchen and utility room. A lot of work was done to the apartment such as a new central AC unit, washer/dryer, new bathroom tile (in progress), new light fixtures etc..

After serious (SERIOUS BUSINESS) talks with the GF and extensive budgeting, we made the decision to accept and move out. With all of it came talks of a stronger relationship and shared responsibilities. At first, I have to admit, I was kinda uneasy and scared. I took the plunge and honestly, it's quite liberating. We've been busting our asses for the past week working on the apartment. I work a night shift of 2-11pm and she works 9-6pm, so we're alternating our time at the apartment. I feel really accomplished with everything I get done around the apartment such as painting, cleaning, detailing etc.. We're looking to get furniture and belongings in by the 15th. Rent and bills are being split between us and we're both stoked about moving in.

I'd put pics now but the apartment is a disaster with tools all over the place. Once we get furniture in and placed, I'll throw up some pics.

PS - I forgot to turn off the breaker for one of the rooms and shocked myself while switching out an old electric outlet. That strong buzz came up my arm and made me all woozy, man!

Cliffs: Need responsibility, moving out with GF, feeling liberated, we're stoked.

[gB dAvId x]

So you only get to see her when your off from work which is ~ 2 days a week?

[Bear]

I work from home and in the process of getting a daytime position.

[gB dAvId x]

Oh yeah.. the alienware guy Anyways, congrats, sounds exciting! I can't wait until i'm done with school and move out... I still have 3 more years of school, 1 more semester left at my community college...

[Torx]

big changes homie!! congrats!

sounds like everything is going smooth! dont forget to build a big ass table in the living room

[bigwill51534]

Congratulations! I have to admit, it is a big deal to move out on your own. That's kinda why I joined the Navy. It helped me to become much more independent. I have lived on my own for the last 3.5 years, without too many problems. I've had bad times (living off of ramen, not knowing how to pay my bills), but have forced my way through them one way or another. I haven't had to borrow money from anyone in my family since I left home (kinda important to me), and I have done pretty well for myself. It's very rewarding to get out on your own.

Anyway, I wish you and your girl the best of luck, man. Just beware, as sometimes living with your girl will add a lot of stress to the relationship. If you already have a very strong relationship I'm sure you'll be fine. If not, it will help you quickly realize she isn't the one.

~Will Courtier~

[Bear]

We've had our ups and downs, believe me. Despite some of our problems, she's very genuine, cares a lot about me and stands by me regardless of what decisions I make. A difficult quality to find, in my opinion.

For several months in this night-time, at home postion, she would drive all the way to my house just to sit in my room with me, and we don't live very close to each other either. I knew taking this position would put a stress on the relationship but she has really done a lot to work with me on it.

[Chainblade]

sounds like a good change. this will definitely make or break the relationship but either way, it's a great test for both of you. good luck to ya both.

[MaesterB]

Congrats on moving out. It's always good to get out on your own, spread your wings, yada yada yada.

I agree with the relationships thing that it definitely does put it's share of stress on it. The most stress is the comfortability part of it.

Yes...she would go out of her way to come and see you. However, now that you're living together, things get taken for granted and you'd expect things after awhile, and when those things aren't happening like they used to, it puts that strain in there.

It changes the whole dynamic. However, if you guys are adaptable to change and make things work, that's all that matters.

Good luck to you both.

[Miller]

congrats man, just have a backup plan if the living with the girlfriend doesnt work out. i've seen it many times with my friends, move in with girlfriend, breakup she moves out and you gotta pay all the bills by yourself. but best of luck to ya

[-Sevendust-]

Originally Posted by Miller

congrats man, just have a backup plan if the living with the girlfriend doesnt work out. i've seen it many times with my friends, move in with girlfriend, breakup she moves out and you gotta pay all the bills by yourself. but best of luck to ya

Tahts why I pay all the bills anyway

[krod]

Originally Posted by Bear

I work from home and in the process of getting a daytime position.

Never ever base financial decisions on anyone besides someone recognized by US law ie a wife/husband. I'm sure the ladies we have onboard will agree to that. life is short and debt is long. I have to ask, what do you do from home? You guys have CS from Costa Rica which is a million billion times better than XXXX from my experience.

[mistawiskas]

As mentioned, never move in with an SO unless you can float the bills by yourself. Same goes with a room mate. Being that financially secure takes alot of stress and strain off the relationship, not to mention saving people from possible resentments. When we have to rely on others for a means to an end, we're bound to be disapointed sooner or later.

[Bear]

If necessary, I could afford rent and utilities on my own but if we're living together, why not split it between both? There was no objection, it was agreed so one doesn't feel like they're doing more/less than the other.

I take all the worst-case scenarios into consideration, trust me. We've spoken about it too and how I'll kill her dog if she tries to cross me.

[mistawiskas]

Great, that just improves your odds of making a good go of it by 90%. stresses of various forms are the leading inhibitors of a good relationship.

[Cr@cKpiPe tE@sEr noOb!]

Wow. Didn't see this coming. As one of your best friends, Bear, I'm telling you that I think this is not such a good idea. I've seen couples with way stronger relationships not make it and yours has way too many ups and downs, too unstable. I mean, I hope it works out for you because I want the best for you as one of my best friends but it just doesn't seem like a good idea. Congrats on moving out, though. Good luck, man.

[crowchaser]

good luck dude, hope you and the g/f make it through... moving in together can be a shot to the head of a relationship sometimes, i know all to well. you have to put up with some things you never thought you would have to do.

[Mince]

Originally Posted by Cr@cKpiPe tE@sEr noOb!

Wow. Didn't see this coming. As one of your best friends, Bear, I'm telling you that I think this is not such a good idea. I've seen couples with way stronger relationships not make it and yours has way too many ups and downs, too unstable. I mean, I hope it works out for you because I want the best for you as one of my best friends but it just doesn't seem like a good idea. Congrats on moving out, though. Good luck, man.

Agreed...

As your cousin, I'll support you no matter what, but I think this is all too fast...

[namelessentity]

I moved in with my current gf after only 6 months, mostly because I needed a roomate within a month, but it still worked out fine. We both share bills and have never had any financial disputes. We occasionally argue about someone not doing dishes or picking up clothes, but never anything serious.

As long as you two can act like adults and don't both have living habits that you both hate, I think things will work out.

[smirnoff]

I say this seems like a good move. Get this relationship on the fast track. If it's going to fail, better it be sooner than later. Life is short.