[Scrubbin_Bubbles]

My cousin calls me on my break at work and said he needs to talk to someone. I speak to him every week either through email, AIM, or on the phone. He says he hasn't had sex with his wife in about 2 months, and has been sleeping in his sons room. I thought the worse and asked if everything was alright?

He says everything is fine with him and his wife it's his son that is the problem. He wants to sleep in his bed with his Mom for some strange reason. He freaked out over some dream a while back and she let him sleep with her when he was on business, but now he wants to sleep with her all the time, He's 7 BTW. I flat out told him to lock his door and just let the kid scream it out and will sooner or later fall asleep on the floor from throwing a fit, or go into his own room.

He didn't like my advise and hung up on me. Saying I was cold hearted. I don't have many more opinions on what to say about this and if he calls back I'm more than likely going to say the same thing again.

The fucking kid is 7 and has no right to be sleeping with his Mom because the way I see it this is just going to cause major problems down the road.

Anyone have any other options I can give him if he calls back?

[ninefivezero]

My first thought is are they sure it was just a dream? I wonder if something else is going on with the kid, or if something happened to him that lead to his need for his mothers comfort... but if they are sure nothing happened to him then nevermind.

Other than that, such babying is just going to hurt the kid in the long run but you seem to already agree with that.

[chapel]

Its proper practice to enforce the child from sleeping in the bed. What should happen is they should set the rule, ie the kid cant sleep with the mom anymore. Then for the first time the kid acts up and tries to get into the bed, tell him no and make him even by force go back to his room. Every subsequent time, do not say anything and just take him back to his room. He will eventually get tired and goto sleep. It might suck for a little bit, but until you set strong boundries, the kid wont listen.

[tweakmonkey]

I agree with what 950 wrote. There's either something more going on or the kid just needs to snap out of it. How long has this been going on? Has the son been sleeping there for that whole 2 months? If so they need to set the record straight and tell the kid he simply has to sleep in his own room from now on. That can't last forever.

[-Sevendust-]

Hmm, seems kinda odd. Ive heard of kids doing that but never gotten a reason. Seems like there may be more?

[MaesterB]

Hell...my son is almost two and he sleeps solid in his bed (yes...he's sleeping in a really cool bed that his grandpa built for him).

My son wakes up now and then, wants a little bit of reassurance, and then you put him back to bed.

You have to force the kid to go back to sleep in his own bed. Either the kids is being super babied, or there is something deeper going on there.

[Phant0m51]

If it's been going on for two months, how often have the bad dreams occured? Night terrors can cause kids to need a parent with them at night. They should think about taking him to the doctor to make sure that they're taking care of their child the way they should be, and also have the child speak with a therapist to find out what's going on.

[chapel]

Should children sleep in their parents bed?

Just some interesting info to take in.

Here is the technique. Video clips, Techniques and Advice from the Supernanny Television (TV) ShowTV Clips - Stay in Bed Technique

[Scrubbin_Bubbles]

Thanks guys. I'll send him those links. He said all his son said was a bad dream. I didn't ask him if he was still having them.

[86mcss]

dont feel to bad scubbin..i would have said the same thing you did but i would have added a spanking or two and told the kid to start growing up and not be a lil bitch.


haha i had a nice child hood

[Electric_Head]

Dang, I remember I woke up yelling about a nightmare once....once, then my dad came in the room spanked me a few times for waking him up at 1am because he has to get up at 4am for work.

Nightmares never scared me after that night.

[MSP]

It's ridiculous, and if the guy is tolerating then he gets what he deserves. My wife pulled that shit one time, the night I returned from a business trip my daughter was in our bed and I had to sleep on the couch. I put my foot up both their assess the next day and it never happened again. It's not in the child's best interest, and it's destroying their marriage.

But I think the child sleeping with them is the wife's doing, and just a symptom of some larger problem. Forget about the kid sleeping in their bed completely - why aren't they having sex in the afternoon, or in the shower, or in a million other ways. She doesn't want to have sex with him for some reason.

[Scrubbin_Bubbles]

Originally Posted by MSP

It's ridiculous, and if the guy is tolerating then he gets what he deserves. My wife pulled that shit one time, the night I returned from a business trip my daughter was in our bed and I had to sleep on the couch. I put my foot up both their assess the next day and it never happened again. It's not in the child's best interest, and it's destroying their marriage.

But I think the child sleeping with them is the wife's doing, and just a symptom of some larger problem. Forget about the kid sleeping in their bed completely - why aren't they having sex in the afternoon, or in the shower, or in a million other ways. She doesn't want to have sex with him for some reason.

They both work during the day so there is no time for sex, and on the weekends there out with their son, or hosting parties.

[MSP]

Originally Posted by Scrubbin_Bubbles

They both work during the day so there is no time for sex, and on the weekends there out with their son, or hosting parties.

Trust me, if she wanted to have sex with him she would make time.

[hans5849]

Tie the kid down!

[integra00]

Originally Posted by MSP

Trust me, if she wanted to have sex with him she would make time.

QFT

[Cr@cKpiPe tE@sEr noOb!]

What I find funny is that he calls you, obviously looking for advice, and then gets mad at YOU when you give it to him. What was he expecting to hear? Whatever he's doing (or not doing) to remedy the situation clearly isn't working so he should probably be open minded to other's opinions.

[Torx]

Originally Posted by Electric_Head

Dang, I remember I woke up yelling about a nightmare once....once, then my dad came in the room spanked me a few times for waking him up at 1am because he has to get up at 4am for work.

Nightmares never scared me after that night.

lololol i busted out laughing... so true. but scubs is right you gotta let the kid scream himself to sleep, just make sure its on a day you dont have to goto work

[Chris]

Damn, I remember when I was little my Mom used to "baby" us, but only in some aspects. When my brother and I were 4-5 and we had a nightmare or were deathly ill, she would always let us sleep in her bed. I think it's appropriate to an extent, as long as it doesn't turn into an everyday thing.

If the kid feels safe in his parents bed, let him chill until he falls asleep, then bring him in his own room. Kids fall asleep really fast when they feel comfortable and secure (i.e. in the presence of parents).

Fuck man, even bed time stories do wonders. Scientifically, what you think about before you go to sleep is what you'll DREAM about when you are asleep. If the kid is watching scary shit before sleep (Are You Afraid of the Dark used to give me insane nightmares, lol) then take that out of his nightly routine.

There's really tons of things they can try besides "locking him in his room and telling him to suck it up". Kids that get that kind of parenting usually wind up shooting up schools and doing drugs.

[Coleman]

Oedipus Rex