[Juballharshaw]

Brady Brim-DeForest – Tiny Thoughts - Mormon Church Makes Bid To Acquire Facebook

According to Zach Klein and his valley sources, the Mormon Church’s Family History Department has made a bid to acquire Facebook:

I heard from an employee close to the deal that the Mormon church’s genealogy business made an unsolicited bid to acquire Facebook.

The Mormon Church maintains the largest genealogical database in the United States and apparently has the cash reserves necessary to make an offer of the magnitude necessary to acquire Facebook.

According to a 1997 Time Magazine Report, the Church of Latter Day Saints’ assets exceeded $30 Billion in 1996, and three years later was reported to be making over $5 Billion in revenue each year.

UPDATE (2:04 am): My inquiry a couple of hours ago to an old college friend who works for one of the interested parties has indicated that there is more at play here than meets the eye, and definitely more than just a kernel of truth to this rumor.

UPDATE (3:09 pm): The Church reached out to me this afternoon. This is the official word from their Public Affairs Spokesperson, Lyman Kirkland:


Brady,

You can quote this statement:

“This rumor has no foundation whatsoever.”

A source who was in contact with the LDS Los Angeles office passed on this note to me: “…no one in Salt Lake is providing our LA office with any information about the issue at this point.”

This is by far the best rumor I've heard in a while.

Edit: In this post I party like it's my 1999th post!

[TheDarkSeed]

*mormons aquire facebook*
"Where'd everyone go?"

[Juballharshaw]

Book of Rapture.

Aka

"Shit we chose the wrong Jesus."