[Torx]

This had to have been THE most saddest depressing christmas ive ever undergone. For the past 3 years my grandmother has been rapidly getting worse on losing her memory and has just not been herself. We as a family came to the conclusion of it being dementia or alzheimer's. After seeing her, i had to immediately go to a back room and wipe some tears it has gotten so bad.. She recognizes us but she doesnt know our names, she can comprehend what we say but she cant speak her mind. She'll mumble words that are just so random and paused that we have to just acknowledge to it and try to figure it out in a deeper meaning. We were all there with her but to her, we werent. It was all too weird. My aunt sitting next to her couldve called the house from her cellphone, my grandma pick up and talk to my aunt as if she wasnt there. Thats how bad it is.. I bet if i call her today and ask about her weekend she wont even mention all us family were there.. The shit is really scary.

We're stuck in a hard place because she has no medicare so we cant take her to a doctor. And if we take her to a doctor they'll throw her in a mental home which is definately NOT what we want. If we put her in a mental house, they'll drug her up or she'll get 10x worse. If we dont do anything it'll be abuse on us as a family. So right now my aunts are trying to find a nice good mental home in Florida, but i dont think there is such a thing.

Its happening all too fast and its really starting to eat me up.
I mean shit, is this hereditary? What are the chances of me being like this?

If someone has been through or now going through a similar situation, please converse here about it because im just scared for her.

[MSP]

How old is your grandma? If she doesn't qualify for Medicare she will pretty soon I'm guessing. Either way I would suggest your aunts contact social services and see what they can do. I was in this exact situation when my dad was dieing of cancer. He hadn't planned for retirement at all and was penniless. They would bring him hot meals, and nurses would check on him every day.

It's harsh, but in the end your grandma should have made better choices and you shouldn't feel bad if she ends up in a home.

[Scrubbin_Bubbles]

They won't toss your grandmother in a home for having Alzheimer's. Get her the help she needs ASAP whats the worse they can do to her if she can't pay her bill?

[CHEDaddy]

You've come to the right place. I understand your sadness about the situation and empathize with you.

What are her specific symptoms?

What types of things does she recall or recognize and what types does she not?

[Torx]

Shes like 78

She gets angry when anyone laughs around her or wispers around her because she thinks were talking about her or laughing, a sign of paranoia. Why she would think such a thing, i dunno.

She recognizes faces, but not cant put a name on anything. A noun rarely comes out of her mouth. Its always "that thing" or somthing of that nature.
Its kinda like shes scared to talk because she knows shes losing her memory and shes scared we'll find out or something. She scared she'll be wrong about whatever she says. If she cant get out the details of whatever she wants to say she'll get angry as if shes hard on herself about her loss. I told my aunts that i believe all it will take would be more interaction with her and more conversations with her to wake the brain up. She lives by herself but my uncle and his daughter live behind her and visit often. But not always there. I think the brain needs more stimulation with someone there talking with her, interacting, etc.. Once you get her talking, she'll listen, comprehend and lightly try to conversate with you, but not too much or else she'll "embarass heself". Its really weird because she'll be awake with full emotion and words given, but out of nowhere she'll slump out and start mumbling like a nothing. Almost like its on and off..

[MSP]

Originally Posted by Torx

Shes like 78

She should qualify for Medicare and Medicaid depending on her monthly income, which I'm going to assume is zero. Something doesn't compute there...

[Tacdriver]

This is a terrible burden on you. I know the term "Burden" sounds cold and calous but, the range of emotions you will experience during this traumatic experience will include the feeling that you are put out. You'll feel that sense and then curse yourself for feeling it. Patience is all the advice I can give you. She will be terribly nasty at you and other loved ones sometimes then she will become tranquill and almost childlike. It's going to mess you up emotionaly but, while all this is going on and as you interact with her just stay focused on the task at hand..........her well being and not yours. When you get upset or pissed at her, you suck it up and punch a bag later that day. This is going to suck and get worse as time goes on. It's going to hurt that she doesn't know you and when she says phrases you could never imagine her saying. Just remember that she loves you and that you love her. When she gets worse, at those moments, remember how it used to be. Treat her as she treated you at those memorable moments in the back of your memory no matter what she is saying or doing at that awful moment. Keep your head up. I'm being as straight with you as I can.

[annadora]

Originally Posted by Tacdriver

This is a terrible burden on you. I know the term "Burden" sounds cold and calous but, the range of emotions you will experience during this traumatic experience will include the feeling that you are put out. You'll feel that sense and then curse yourself for feeling it. Patience is all the advice I can give you. She will be terribly nasty at you and other loved ones sometimes then she will become tranquill and almost childlike. It's going to mess you up emotionaly but, while all this is going on and as you interact with her just stay focused on the task at hand..........her well being and not yours. When you get upset or pissed at her, you suck it up and punch a bag later that day. This is going to suck and get worse as time goes on. It's going to hurt that she doesn't know you and when she says phrases you could never imagine her saying. Just remember that she loves you and that you love her. When she gets worse, at those moments, remember how it used to be. Treat her as she treated you at those memorable moments in the back of your memory no matter what she is saying or doing at that awful moment. Keep your head up. I'm being as straight with you as I can.

I think that Tac gave some really good advice there. There really isn't a whole lot you can do other than to be there for her as best as you can... there isn't a magic pill or anything that can cure or reverse what's happening to her. And when times get rough you just have to remember that she can't help what's happening to her or how it's making her act, and you also need to stop to think about how much worse it must be for her than it is for you.

As far as your question about whether it's hereditary and if it can happen to you, that's a hard question to answer. It was believed for a long time that alzheimer's was a hereditary thing... that if it ran in your family you were more likely to suffer from it as you got older, that doesn't mean that you would definately get it just that you were more likely to. One of the more recent theories about alzheimer's is that it is caused by a slow acting virus that you're exposed to earlier in life and eventually causes you to get alzheimer's. There really are a lot of theories as to the causes of the disease, if you'd like to read up on them you should check out this article, it has a lot of useful information about the disease, theories as to the causes of it, etc.

http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/h...im/alzheim.htm

I'm sorry to hear about your situation though. Be strong, and do the best you can to get through these hard times. Good luck. <3