[BrentN]

So on sunday me and the gf had a pretty big fight.
Heres what happened.

*long*

That tuesday of the same week we were having an awesome time. Her friends came over, we were all watching TV and she was being really cuddly and nice and the whole works, it was great. It was also great to see her having such a good time becuase her grandma, who was pretty close, died just the day before. She was pretty sad about it all, and having all of us over I guess really cheered her up.
The next day, she was to leave to kelowna (10 hour drive) with her dad and meet up with her mom to attend the funeral. So from tuesday until she got back, she asked me to watch over her cat and make sure that it was ok.
I completley agreed and wanted to help her out any way that I could.

She leaves, I take care of her cat, spend some quality time with it so that it doesn't go insane, and clean up her place and do the dishes etc.

So while this is happening, I text her wed and ask her if the drive is ok, etc. She texts back and everything of course is fine.
I text her on thurs cause I havent heard anything since that last text and I say
"missing you"
I get no reply. No worries, shes at a funeral, no time to talk.
I text the same thing on friday and get no reply again. Im not too concerned, but wondering if she's ok or misses me or anything. I try calling her that night and she didn't pick up.
So the weekend passes and sunday rolls around and I finally call her again and leave a message asking if she's going to be back on sunday or what, I need to know so that I can plan ahead.
She calls me later and says that she's on her way home and will be there about 4-5pm. She sounds pissed.
So I ask her,

"do you want me to come over, or do you want to be alone?"
I say this becuase I thought maybe she either missed me, or she was still sad about the whole thing. She says
"doesn't matter"
So I tell her ok, well I'll see you later I guess and we hang up.

I get off work and head over to her place and go inside.
Shes on the couch with the blanket sorta tired and doesn't even look at me. So I sit down and start watching tv on the other side of the couch and say hi.
For the next hour we're just watching some show and not really saying much at all, a couple times she asks me "whats wrong?" and I tell her that im just tired. WIch I was, it was a long fucking week.

So she finally asks "what time you leavin?" and i told her in about 20 minutes or so. The 20 mins pass, I kiss her goodbye and she doesn't even do anything.
So I go home and the whole time that im traveling from her house to mine, im thinking about how fucking annoing all of this is.

I took care of her cat, cleaned up her place, and I don't even get a fucking thank you, or a smile, or a hug, or anything. Not only does she show no appreciation, but she doesn't even really want to see me, or miss me at all for that matter. Sure it was only about 5 days, but we're almost always together. One time she was away for 3 days and was telling me that she missed me alot.
On top of that, I asked her when I was over if there was anything wrong at all, and she said she was just tired as well.

So I text her and tell her if she really wants to be with me, and why she's being like this.
I call her up and ask whats going on, and why she didn't even acknowledge my presence etc and she starts yelling at me about how her grandma just died and I can't keep on thinking about myself.
I told her
"ditto"
The whole fucking time I was thinking about her, and how she was doing, NOT myself. On top of that, if I really did think about only myself, I would have not even helped her out with the cat and house thing at all, I wouldn't have tried texting her or calling her.
She hangs up before I can finish so I leave a voicemail.

I havent heard from her since, and that was sunday night.

So its been two days, and no call no texts, nothing, from either of us.

I really don't want to play the game of waiting for her to call me, I just want to get things right again. What im asking, is what should I tell her when I call her, so that she'll listen to me and she doesn't blow up at me?

Give me some guidance! lol, im not to sure what to do.

[Scooby]

Is she stubborn?

Time to call her up and set it straight if you just want it to be better.

But if you believe in points in relationships, better wait it out.

[Nothing.]

call her.

[MSP]

Wow, with a few tweaks this story could have been about me and my highschool sweetheart.

My first question is, why didn't you go to the funeral with her? If you were invited and didn't go that was a mistake. If you weren't invited that's bad... Secondly, she was going through some heavy shit and might have needed some space. Calling and texting her so much probably came off as a little needy.

All that said this was exactly what broke up my first big relationship. Her Dad died, and I was really needy and put myself before her, and we fell apart. I think the relationship was probably in trouble before and the death simply was the catalyst that brought about the end.

Anyway, give her some time and back off! If she's just confused and overcome with estrogen she'll come to you. Just send her a note or something and say you're there if she needs you.

[SoulAssassin]

I wouldn't say that you were too needy if you only txt'd her once a day.

People take deaths in different ways but if it were me I wouldn't call her back at all (I'm stubborn as hell).

[MSP]

Originally Posted by SoulAssassin

I wouldn't say that you were too needy if you only txt'd her once a day.

People take deaths in different ways but if it were me I wouldn't call her back at all (I'm stubborn as hell).

Yeah, having read through his post again I would kick the bitch in the box and tell her to hit the road. Just because she's going through some hard times doesn't give her a blank check to treat him like total shit.

[BrentN]

Originally Posted by MSP

Yeah, having read through his post again I would kick the bitch in the box and tell her to hit the road. Just because she's going through some hard times doesn't give her a blank check to treat him like total shit.

Thats what I was thinking. But I don't want to pass off as arrogant either. I think im either going to call or text her and just ask her what was bothering her.

I asked her initially if she wanted me to come, and she told me that she did not.

I just need some help on what exactly to say, lol. I don't want to fuck this up, or im sure it will be over. Our relationship, like you mentioned on your own msp, is rocky as of the last couple months.
If I didn't care about her, then I wouldn't be asking this, let alone trying to make it work. I really do love her, and I don't want to lose her over a fight.
Give me some more pointers and I'll post what happens later tonight when I actually do something.

[Bundini]

Give me her number. I'll work it out with her.

[BrentN]

um no.

[MSP]

Originally Posted by BrentN

I asked her initially if she wanted me to come, and she told me that she did not.

VERY bad sign dude. If I were you I would just let it go. To me it sounds like she's trying to tell you something. But women don't just say things planely - they play fucking games and beat around the bush. Anyway, the worst thing you could do is come off as a pussy. Go out and get pissed drunk with some friends, catch a movie, etc.

[SoulAssassin]

Originally Posted by MSP

VERY bad sign dude. If I were you I would just let it go. To me it sounds like she's trying to tell you something. But women don't just say things planely - they play fucking games and beat around the bush. Anyway, the worst thing you could do is come off as a pussy. Go out and get pissed drunk with some friends, catch a movie, etc.

Amen...if anything she'll want you more if you ignore her. Women are mentally challenged (in most cases).

[BrentN]

lmao, I find it amazing that you call that a bad sign.

I've known her for over a year, I've been dating her for 9 months, and I never felt that was a bad sign.

Maybe im just not seeing something, but why is it bad if she didn't want me to come? I really don't know her family that much, we've only met a few times, and I never did know her grandma. If anything, I think the decision was, well, appropriate.

[MSP]

Originally Posted by BrentN

lmao, I find it amazing that you call that a bad sign.

I've known her for over a year, I've been dating her for 9 months, and I never felt that was a bad sign.

Maybe im just not seeing something, but why is it bad if she didn't want me to come? I really don't know her family that much, we've only met a few times, and I never did know her grandma. If anything, I think the decision was, well, appropriate.

Normally woman wan't their significant other nearby when in the midst of a difficult life experience. Her not asking you to be there says "I don't need you" or "We're not serious". And THEN she came home and treated you like shit. And to hear you say the relationship was rocky for "months" prior to this event pretty much wraps it up for me.

You should make this a poll. I predict a landslide for "don't call her".

And something to consider - the best case scenerio here is that there's nothing wrong, she wants to be with you, and she's just a moody bitch that will treat you like shit at random!

[mushu]

gee, maybe she's depressed or in shock still? are you the same one who had a fight with his gf because you had to get her medicine or something and it was the wrong drugstore?

[SoulAssassin]

she's just a moody bitch that will treat you like shit at random!

QFT

[BrentN]

Originally Posted by mushu

gee, maybe she's depressed or in shock still? are you the same one who had a fight with his gf because you had to get her medicine or something and it was the wrong drugstore?

Yes i was the one

Well to be perfectly honest MSP, and no bullshit, but yes, she does get moody as fuck sometimes and treat me like shit for no reason! its happened a few times, the drugstore time was one of them as well, and all the times she's apologized to me.

Like I said, im not wanting her to admit that she was wrong, I just want things to be better. It doesn't mean that im going to take it up the ass from her, but it does mean that im willing to listen and see what the hell is wrong.

ugh, im just going to try calling her tonight.

[MatTMaN]

WAIT A SECOND
by chance is your gf last name "Duke"?
because my friend's (pat duke.. lives in calgary too( not the pat at this forum btw)) grandmother just died, and she lives in kelowna too. thats weird as shit

[MSP]

Originally Posted by BrentN

ugh, im just going to try calling her tonight.

MEEEEOOOOWWWW!

[BrentN]

lmao. alright.



SO yea, her name is not PAT DUKE thats for sure. But yea that is some co-incidence.

[MatTMaN]

eer, pat duke, lol

no i mean is her last name duke because my friend.. (pat) has 2 sisters.

a littl eoff topic sorry, i was curious though.

hope everything goes well with "her"