How To Be Azn
Posted: April 1st, 2002
Written by: Tuan Huynh
Cars
Clothing apparel isn’t the only thing you need to be a true Azn. You also need an Azn car too, preferably something from Japan, such as a Honda, Mazda, Toyota, or Nissan with full rice options.
As you can see our Mazda 323 that’s riced out to the fullest, you can see what we did to make it fast The car is literally fast and can even outrun the NOS’ed Supra used in Fast and Furious!. The car is fully equipped with a Tin foil and Cardboard spoiler for increased wind resistance, Type R and NOS taped onto the back of the car with electrical tape, and lastly a coffee can exhaust.
As you can see folks, taping Turbo on the side of your car with electrical tape will make it an actual Turbo Charged car!
Even though it’s a Mazda, it still has a VEETEC engine in it. How is this possible you may ask? It’s easy, just whip out your electrical tape and carefully tape VEETEC onto the side of the car, thus forth make the car powered by a VEETEC engine!
As you’ve seen above, those are the necessary steps you have to make to make your car truly “Azn.” You can also turn your American or European car into a Japanese car by simply buying a Honda badge and putting it over your Ford or Chrysler logo! It’s just as simple as that!
The speak
Lastly, to be Azn, you have to speak like an Azn, this means when you talk, you address your male friends by foo, and your female friends by their name, or “girl,” You also have to not swear, but rather substituting swears with words such as “fawk, shiet, etc...” I could go on because the list goes on forever. When you go to hang out with friends, you don’t say hang out, Azn’s use the term “kick it” rather then hang out, remember it since it’s an important term.
When you meet your friends, you no longer say what’s up anymore, you just simply say “shupz?” which cuts down saying two words to one simple word that most other Azn’s will understand. When you leave to go home, you no longer should say “bye,” rather then using “bye,” you substitute it for the word “pesh,” which simply means peace.
It’s relatively simple Ebonics with a few simple modifications to it and an added Azn accent, which can come from any of the Azn countries including: China, Japan, Viet Nam, Cambodia, Thailand, Philippines, and any other country I’ve forgot to mention.
Conclusion
We’ve just shown you how to be Azn in a mere simple 3 steps. Following our directions, you should become a true Azn in no time no matter what your skin color is! It’s only as simple as that, just follow our simple directions and you’ll fit in with your Azn friends next time you go kick it with them.
After you’re done reading this article you’re probably thinking WTF am I smoking? Well first I haven’t been smoking nothing, unless it was some good shiet that I can’t remember smoking, and secondly….APRIL FOOL’S! It’s the first of April, last year we brought you the Ford Taurus Tweak Guide, this year we bring you a how to! To think we’d actually make this a real article on a normal day :O). Anyways I had a great time writing this article, I hope everyone got a kick out of it :O).
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